Tuesday, December 18, 2012

There's A Wall There

I'm a little like Yzma.  But I don't just have a wall, it's a 5 ft. thick, concrete wall with barbed wire on top, archers lining the wall, a moat full of crocodiles out front, and just in case, I have an intense squad of highly trained ninjas on the inside ready to take out any one who gets past the defenses.  Perhaps not the most friendly way to live life....It's not like I keep everyone out of my walls.  There are a select few people that I can sense quickly are uber trustworthy, and they get full access pretty quickly.  I also have levels to my walls.  There's an outer courtyard for those who I decide to associate with occasionally and probably aren't dangerous.  There's an inner courtyard as well, with a few more trust points, then the main castle, etc., etc.
However, with time and patience a person can eventually make it to the top.  I think I discovered this week the secret entrance to these walls that I didn't know about.  One of my best friends in Boston had a very large personal bubble, and would get uncomfortable if someone got inside.  I watched a funny episode once where another friend was testing to see if he started at a safe distance and got involved in a conversation, and slowly inched his way forward, perhaps he could eventually be standing right up next to her, shoulder to shoulder, without her noticing.  It didn't work, and it was funny to watch as he inched closer, she inched back.  With me however, it turns out I don't notice the people inching closer.  It's as if I looked over my walls one day and saw a suspicious figure standing next to the wall doing nothing.  As the figure does nothing for a while, I grow bored and turn my attention to the people politely knocking on the door that I'd rather throw water balloons at then let them enter.  Weeks or months later, I'll be relaxing in my keep, playing an intense game of cards and drinking juice, when I look up at the dude next to me and say: "Hey, weren't you that kid standing outside the wall a while ago?  Well, what do you know..... Can you pass me more juice?  And no, I don't have any 9's.  Go fish."
I definitely had this sort of experience this week with a couple people in different circles of my life.  While hanging out with them I would all of the sudden realize: "Hang on, I've forgotten to be scared of this person for a while now.  I guess it turns out they're not so scary or untrustworthy..."
Maybe this whole trusting people is easier than it looks.  Maybe I'll even make a New Year's Resolution to take down one of my barbed wires.  The ninjas stay though.  Just in case...

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