Thursday, December 9, 2010
Best Mommy Ever!
It turns out I have the best mommy ever. I got in the mail today a package with 12 Days of Christmas gifts for all the days until the 23rd when I'll be home! She also sent me a nativity set to put out along with my Christmas tree, so now I finally have some decorations here in my room in California :) Seriously, it was the best package ever!!!!!
Thursday, December 2, 2010
10 Ways To Know You Live In A Hick Town In The Middle Of Nowhwere
This post is inspired by a conversation I had a week ago with a couple of co-workers. We were talking about how we were all from small towns and were wondering which of us lived in the most podunk town. I don’t think we ever came to a conclusion, but upon further reflection I feel like I should win that award, because not only do I come from a hick town, but it is also in the middle of nowhere. My co-workers live in towns that are remote, but within an hour can get to somewhere a little more civilized, whereas I have to travel about 3 hours before hitting a “big” city. And so here it is, my ode to living in Central Oregon, 10 ways to know that you live in a hick town in the middle of nowhere:
#10—You give directions like turn at the pine tree.
#9—Names are ever so descriptive, like Alfalfa, where everyone who lives there grows alfalfa. Or Bend, so named because that’s where the river bends. Or Crooked River.
#8—In 150 miles from the border of California to my home town I passed more national forests, state parks, lakes, volcanoes, lava caves and mountains than I did towns. By like a factor of 20. At least.
#7—Have you ever heard of Oregon Institute of Technology? Me neither. But they exist. And clearly they don’t get many students, since they still haven’t invented technology akin to a snow plow, since I drove 150 miles on pure snow, on a sunny day.
#6—I once saw a postcard that had a picture of an old dude in a cowboy hat glaring at a UFO. The caption said “Must be those darn Californians again”. It’s a pretty universal view.
#5—The #1 most coveted job in high school is working at the ghetto bowling alley. Only the really cool popular people can get that job. The rest have to work at gas stations. High school jobs often become life careers as well. Unless you’re lucky enough to get hired by Wal-Mart after graduation.
#4—The most happening time of the day is Happy Hour at the fast food burger joint Sonic, followed by the social outing of the day at Wal-Mart.
#3—Our county fair is mostly like any other fair, with all the rides and carnival games, but there’s also a bazillion barns full of every kind of livestock imaginable. And let’s not forget the ginormous rodeo that’s going on all days of the fair. And pretty much the only musicians that come to our county fair are country singers. Unless you count Weird Al.
#2—On Thanksgiving morning me and my mom had to run to the grocery store to pick up some last minute supplies. And so we went in pajamas, hair not done, no make-up, no shower, no bra. All that was missing was the slippers, but there was a foot of snow outside, so that wasn’t going to happen. The best part, everyone else in the grocery store was dressed EXACTLY the same.
#1—Chainsaw Creations. I’ve never been inside this store, but every time I drive by it makes me want to laugh. There are literally giant wooden totem pole-like bears, or any other kind of animal you could want. All made from chainsaws. Really???
#10—You give directions like turn at the pine tree.
#9—Names are ever so descriptive, like Alfalfa, where everyone who lives there grows alfalfa. Or Bend, so named because that’s where the river bends. Or Crooked River.
#8—In 150 miles from the border of California to my home town I passed more national forests, state parks, lakes, volcanoes, lava caves and mountains than I did towns. By like a factor of 20. At least.
#7—Have you ever heard of Oregon Institute of Technology? Me neither. But they exist. And clearly they don’t get many students, since they still haven’t invented technology akin to a snow plow, since I drove 150 miles on pure snow, on a sunny day.
#6—I once saw a postcard that had a picture of an old dude in a cowboy hat glaring at a UFO. The caption said “Must be those darn Californians again”. It’s a pretty universal view.
#5—The #1 most coveted job in high school is working at the ghetto bowling alley. Only the really cool popular people can get that job. The rest have to work at gas stations. High school jobs often become life careers as well. Unless you’re lucky enough to get hired by Wal-Mart after graduation.
#4—The most happening time of the day is Happy Hour at the fast food burger joint Sonic, followed by the social outing of the day at Wal-Mart.
#3—Our county fair is mostly like any other fair, with all the rides and carnival games, but there’s also a bazillion barns full of every kind of livestock imaginable. And let’s not forget the ginormous rodeo that’s going on all days of the fair. And pretty much the only musicians that come to our county fair are country singers. Unless you count Weird Al.
#2—On Thanksgiving morning me and my mom had to run to the grocery store to pick up some last minute supplies. And so we went in pajamas, hair not done, no make-up, no shower, no bra. All that was missing was the slippers, but there was a foot of snow outside, so that wasn’t going to happen. The best part, everyone else in the grocery store was dressed EXACTLY the same.
#1—Chainsaw Creations. I’ve never been inside this store, but every time I drive by it makes me want to laugh. There are literally giant wooden totem pole-like bears, or any other kind of animal you could want. All made from chainsaws. Really???
Sunday, November 28, 2010
The Goose is Getting Fat
Christmas is coming!! I love Christmas so so so much, and one of the MANY reasons that I love it is because of all the wonderful traditions that my family has. Here are some of my favorites:
Decorate on Thanksgiving
Every year after we have our Thanksgiving meal, we decorate our house for Christmas. We put up the tree, bust out the Christmas music and drink egg nog for the first time! Nothing gets me more excited for Christmas than getting out all of our fun decorations that have so many amazing memories attached to them!
12 days of Christmas
This is my absolute favorite tradition. Starting the 13th of December, we start the 12 Days of Christmas. As a family we open a present each night, celebrating Christmas. The present we open usually is something like a new Christmas CD, or a new decoration, or a pair of Christmas socks for each of us, or new ornaments for the tree, or a Christmas movie, or something crafty like a gingerbread house kit. Then, on the 12th Day of Christmas, Christmas Eve, our present for that night is a new pair of pajamas to wear to bed that night! This tradition is by far the most fun!
Mom’s Christmas “Play”
This tradition started when I was really little of me and my brother re-enacting the Christmas story for my mom on Christmas Eve. As we’ve gotten older and my sister came along, it’s progressed a little into something of an annual creative desperate last minute production, which has produced such classics as last year’s Youtube video, a puppet show, a children’s picture book, and home videos including the “Hogwart’s Christmas special” with guest star ‘Donny Osmond’, “The 3 Wise Men” starring my sister as all 3 wise men, and “Best of Christmas Scenes” featuring our most illustrious celebrity guest yet, Hickberry herself (and in the words of that legendary persona, “huh, that’s a gud’n”).
Christmas Cookies
Every year I have 5 specific Christmas cookies that I must bake, and must give away (special bonus if they’re given away by ring’n’running). I always make wreath rice krispy treats, chocolate mint snaps, peppermint bark, chocolate chip cookies with Christmas M&M’s as the chips and sugar cookies with colored frosting and Christmas sprinkles!
Those are just a few of our annual traditions, but really I could go on forever describing things like Grandpa’s chocolate advent calendars, the Garfield Christmas movie and the Muppet Christmas Carol, camping out together on Christmas Eve, our special Christmas breakfast of tea rolls and soufflé, dinner of tree shaped pizzas, caroling with friends, etc, etc. Yep, Christmas is definitely the best time of the year in my family!!
Decorate on Thanksgiving
Every year after we have our Thanksgiving meal, we decorate our house for Christmas. We put up the tree, bust out the Christmas music and drink egg nog for the first time! Nothing gets me more excited for Christmas than getting out all of our fun decorations that have so many amazing memories attached to them!
12 days of Christmas
This is my absolute favorite tradition. Starting the 13th of December, we start the 12 Days of Christmas. As a family we open a present each night, celebrating Christmas. The present we open usually is something like a new Christmas CD, or a new decoration, or a pair of Christmas socks for each of us, or new ornaments for the tree, or a Christmas movie, or something crafty like a gingerbread house kit. Then, on the 12th Day of Christmas, Christmas Eve, our present for that night is a new pair of pajamas to wear to bed that night! This tradition is by far the most fun!
Mom’s Christmas “Play”
This tradition started when I was really little of me and my brother re-enacting the Christmas story for my mom on Christmas Eve. As we’ve gotten older and my sister came along, it’s progressed a little into something of an annual creative desperate last minute production, which has produced such classics as last year’s Youtube video, a puppet show, a children’s picture book, and home videos including the “Hogwart’s Christmas special” with guest star ‘Donny Osmond’, “The 3 Wise Men” starring my sister as all 3 wise men, and “Best of Christmas Scenes” featuring our most illustrious celebrity guest yet, Hickberry herself (and in the words of that legendary persona, “huh, that’s a gud’n”).
Christmas Cookies
Every year I have 5 specific Christmas cookies that I must bake, and must give away (special bonus if they’re given away by ring’n’running). I always make wreath rice krispy treats, chocolate mint snaps, peppermint bark, chocolate chip cookies with Christmas M&M’s as the chips and sugar cookies with colored frosting and Christmas sprinkles!
Those are just a few of our annual traditions, but really I could go on forever describing things like Grandpa’s chocolate advent calendars, the Garfield Christmas movie and the Muppet Christmas Carol, camping out together on Christmas Eve, our special Christmas breakfast of tea rolls and soufflé, dinner of tree shaped pizzas, caroling with friends, etc, etc. Yep, Christmas is definitely the best time of the year in my family!!
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Nightmare on El Camino Street
So this story actually starts a couple days ago when I had a nightmare that I was at work, and 7 patients randomly showed up at the same time and then were super angry and said that when I made the reminder call I told them the wrong time. The very next day in real life, a patient actually showed up and got angry because they claimed I said the wrong time in the reminder call. So then I got kind of paranoid to have dreams about work again. And then this crazy nightmare happened. If this one comes true, I’ll probably pass out from terror. Behold, the Nightmare on EL Camino Street:
It starts off as a fairly normal day at work, with the therapists, aides, front desk girls and patients all in the clinic. Then suddenly it starts to storm, and there’s tons of torrential rain and lightning and thunder. All of us workers have an emergency meeting to discuss how to handle this catastrophe, since no one can leave the clinic due to the horrible weather. So we all circle around, leaving the patients in another room, and probably the meeting was had, but I wasn’t paying attention because I was talking to one of my co-workers, Karen, who was also not paying attention to the meeting. She turned to me and said excitedly “I think Trevor is secretly in love with Jenny!” To which I replied “Jenny has a boyfriend.” Karen rolled her eyes and said “That’ll never last” and I was horrified because all I could think about was how Jenny just adopted 2 kittens, and I was acting like if her and her boyfriend broke up the kittens would be psychologically harmed, akin to kids going through a divorce. Clearly. I was so traumatized that I left Karen to go find Janet and Mary, who were randomly studying for a test, so I decided to help them. We were studying until suddenly Adonis comes up to us and says “What are you guys doing?!?!?! We have to find rooms!!” We didn’t understand what the heck he was talking about, so he adds “Weren’t you paying attention at the meeting? Everyone has to stay the night here because we can’t leave because of the weather! All the patients are getting rooms, we have to find some before they’re all gone!” At this point Trevor randomly appears, then says “That’s boring, you guys go do that while I go stand in the rain for a while” and then he walks off. Mary says she has too keep studying, and Janet just walks off, distracted because Brenda suddenly brought out a couple cakes. Adonis also runs off, and I decide to go look for a bed as well, and as I look around the clinic has suddenly turned into a ginormous 20 story mansion with billions of secret hidden rooms and secret passageways and it’s like a big maze getting from one room to the next. As I start to look for an empty room I run into Brian, who has decided he needs to make money for all of us so we can all have food to eat, so he set up a carnival booth for the patients. I keep looking for rooms with empty beds, but I can’t find any without patients in the crazy maze-mansion. At one point I run into Adonis and Trevor again, and no one has found a room yet, so Adonis runs off one way and me and Trevor go another way. After a few rooms we find Jenny and she joins us in the hunt. Finally us 3 reach the 20th floor which only has one room, and as we open the door to the room, we run into lasers, like you would find as a security thing in a museum or in a spy movie or something. We had accidently run into the lasers, so we were confused when no trap was set off, but then Trevor found the remote control to turn off the lasers, so we turned them off. Then we found a random old lady that had been tied to a chair and given a sleeping potion, kind of like Sleeping Beauty, except it was more like Sleeping Granny. Jenny was helping to revive Granny when I notice one of the patients coming up the stairs and to the door, and suddenly it clicks that the patients trapped Granny there on purpose, and the lasers were to let them know if anyone tried to rescue her. The patient came in and calmly yet evilly explained that now we knew the secret, so now they would have to kill us as well as Granny. He also showed us how the entire thing was live on TV, so the rest of the patients in the mansion could watch, and as we turned to the screen we could see Janet, Mary, Adonis and Brian trying to fight off evil patients. While me, Trevor and Jenny stare horrified at the screen, Granny suddenly yells, “So long suckers!” and punches a few patients and runs away, leaving us to fend for ourselves. We start running down secret stairs with patients yelling in rage chasing after us. I’m in front, and at one point I stop and turn around to see if Trevor and Jenny are still alive. I see Trevor turn the corner, but as I’m waiting to see if Jenny comes, I’m suddenly woken up by the sprinkler system going off right by my window. So I guess I’ll never know if everyone else made it out alive….
It starts off as a fairly normal day at work, with the therapists, aides, front desk girls and patients all in the clinic. Then suddenly it starts to storm, and there’s tons of torrential rain and lightning and thunder. All of us workers have an emergency meeting to discuss how to handle this catastrophe, since no one can leave the clinic due to the horrible weather. So we all circle around, leaving the patients in another room, and probably the meeting was had, but I wasn’t paying attention because I was talking to one of my co-workers, Karen, who was also not paying attention to the meeting. She turned to me and said excitedly “I think Trevor is secretly in love with Jenny!” To which I replied “Jenny has a boyfriend.” Karen rolled her eyes and said “That’ll never last” and I was horrified because all I could think about was how Jenny just adopted 2 kittens, and I was acting like if her and her boyfriend broke up the kittens would be psychologically harmed, akin to kids going through a divorce. Clearly. I was so traumatized that I left Karen to go find Janet and Mary, who were randomly studying for a test, so I decided to help them. We were studying until suddenly Adonis comes up to us and says “What are you guys doing?!?!?! We have to find rooms!!” We didn’t understand what the heck he was talking about, so he adds “Weren’t you paying attention at the meeting? Everyone has to stay the night here because we can’t leave because of the weather! All the patients are getting rooms, we have to find some before they’re all gone!” At this point Trevor randomly appears, then says “That’s boring, you guys go do that while I go stand in the rain for a while” and then he walks off. Mary says she has too keep studying, and Janet just walks off, distracted because Brenda suddenly brought out a couple cakes. Adonis also runs off, and I decide to go look for a bed as well, and as I look around the clinic has suddenly turned into a ginormous 20 story mansion with billions of secret hidden rooms and secret passageways and it’s like a big maze getting from one room to the next. As I start to look for an empty room I run into Brian, who has decided he needs to make money for all of us so we can all have food to eat, so he set up a carnival booth for the patients. I keep looking for rooms with empty beds, but I can’t find any without patients in the crazy maze-mansion. At one point I run into Adonis and Trevor again, and no one has found a room yet, so Adonis runs off one way and me and Trevor go another way. After a few rooms we find Jenny and she joins us in the hunt. Finally us 3 reach the 20th floor which only has one room, and as we open the door to the room, we run into lasers, like you would find as a security thing in a museum or in a spy movie or something. We had accidently run into the lasers, so we were confused when no trap was set off, but then Trevor found the remote control to turn off the lasers, so we turned them off. Then we found a random old lady that had been tied to a chair and given a sleeping potion, kind of like Sleeping Beauty, except it was more like Sleeping Granny. Jenny was helping to revive Granny when I notice one of the patients coming up the stairs and to the door, and suddenly it clicks that the patients trapped Granny there on purpose, and the lasers were to let them know if anyone tried to rescue her. The patient came in and calmly yet evilly explained that now we knew the secret, so now they would have to kill us as well as Granny. He also showed us how the entire thing was live on TV, so the rest of the patients in the mansion could watch, and as we turned to the screen we could see Janet, Mary, Adonis and Brian trying to fight off evil patients. While me, Trevor and Jenny stare horrified at the screen, Granny suddenly yells, “So long suckers!” and punches a few patients and runs away, leaving us to fend for ourselves. We start running down secret stairs with patients yelling in rage chasing after us. I’m in front, and at one point I stop and turn around to see if Trevor and Jenny are still alive. I see Trevor turn the corner, but as I’m waiting to see if Jenny comes, I’m suddenly woken up by the sprinkler system going off right by my window. So I guess I’ll never know if everyone else made it out alive….
I left my heart in San Francisco
Today I went to the San Fransisco Zoo and saw a snow leopard!!!!!!!! I'm pretty sure I took a billion photos, plus a little video, plus I hung around the exhibit for like an hour, and I might have squealed out loud with joy and said things like "I LOVE YOU KITTY!!!!" Best day ever!!!!
My Snow Leopard Video
My Snow Leopard Video
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Josh Groban is probably my soul mate
In honor of facebook telling me that Josh Groban's new album "Illuminations" is coming out in November, this post is dedicated to the vocal angel that is Josh Groban. I forgot how completely in love I was with his music. Oh buddy. I'm pretty sure it is completely illegal and unfair that one person can have so much talent and be so good-looking and have such an adorable personality, but alas it is true, and now I will never find a real husband I'm sure because I'll always be comparing any guy I meet to Josh Groban. At least with Mr. Darcy you know he's complete fiction so of course no guy that perfect can exist. Not so with Mr. Groban. But enough of my rambling, lets get to the goods. Josh's new single, "Hidden Away", is now available on iTunes, and you can preview it here on his website:
http://www.joshgroban.com
http://www.joshgroban.com
Monday, September 13, 2010
Sometimes Commercials Are Hilarious
For some reason I cannot get enough of these GEICO commercials, they make me laugh sooooo hard every single time. If only all of Hulu's commercials were this funny....
Piggy
Honest Abe
Therapist
Snowball
Piggy
Honest Abe
Therapist
Snowball
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